And He Shouts From The Rooftops: Gay
by orangesofsymmetry
Summary: Phan, danisnotonfire/AmazingPhil. He's never been decisive, but there's one thing he's sure of: he wants Dan. An extravagant coming out and an extreme Halloween party makes it pretty easy for his dreams to come true. It's a shame that not everyone is supportive, really.
1. Chapter 1

Phil has never been good at making decisions. He reckons that if he was given the chance to choose his sexuality he'd probably mess it up and he'd be listed as sexually attracted to cheese on toast for the rest of his life. He doesn't even like cheese.

Even from a young age Phil had never been able to choose a side.

That doesn't mean that he is apathetic, he is definitely not, but many believe so because of his sheer reluctance to make up his mind. It isn't even his fault, not really. He can't help that he can see each story from each side easily, that he can relate to them both and by the time it's time to make a decision he'll be completely taken by both options, and therefore completely on the fence.

His father used to take him to the cafe after his swimming session and get him his favourite type of burger: a cheeseburger without cheese. He always cut it up into tiny pieces, even when Phil hit his teens and even when Phil stopped swimming. Then it would always come to the end of their meal and Phil would face _the choice_. It was always the hardest part of the week, what type of ice-cream to get. He liked ice-cream. He liked chocolate, he liked strawberry, he liked caramel and he liked the house specials. They would sit for a good fifteen minutes, his dad laughing good-naturedly at his obvious struggle, because really ice-cream wasn't something to get so worked up about. But he was Phil and decision-making was never his thing.

He still doesn't have a favourite type of ice-cream, but he must say that he's quite keen on the tiramisu flavour they introduced, and he really likes chocolate and strawberry and caramel... And all of them, actually, now that he thinks about it.

He's never been able to choose between coffee and tea either. Tea is great, he's English, of course it is, and it's the only hot drink that really quenches his thirst. But coffee, it perks him up in the mornings (not that he needs it, really) and it tastes great. Really, really great. But an equal greatness to tea. This is his problem.

It's always been this way, two friends would bicker and he'd never choose a side, simply because he couldn't.

That lead him to the problem. Currently, nobody knew his "secret"; that being that he is a flaming homosexual. No shame there, really. He likes boys and he wants to bang his hot neighbour that happens to be male.

In fact, it's his neighbour that finally leads him to realising that he wants the brains fucked out of him and that he really does not fancy doing the same to a female. Actually, he doesn't even really like the idea of topping until he Googles what gay sex is (his mum had taught him the basics of hetero a year previous, and he's heard it all from his mates) and decided that it is really fucking hot. He finds his dominant streak, then, and decided that along side being the one receiving the pleasure, he'd love to be the one to control, to watch his partner fall apart beneath him and-

He clears his throat and chews his pen. He really doesn't feel like popping a boner halfway through summer revision.

Especially not because he's fantasising about his hot neighbour.

Mr Howell, he's called, brown hair, tanned skin; utterly fuckable to say the least. He's taller than Phil and older, more experienced (yes, he just went there) but he's not gay. There's always a downer to everything and in this case it's the pure waves of hetero that seem to exude from him.

Mr Howell is hot and yet also completely and utterly impossible.

* * *

School starts again on the fourth of September.

Phil has had almost a whole summer of staring at Mr Howell (plus one very awkward dinner that his mother invited him over to which consisted of lots of mumbling), revising for A Levels and debating with himself as to whether he should come out.

He's not ashamed; quite frankly he doesn't have time for the bullshit of people using his sexuality as an excuse to get a bit of their own pain off their chest, so that's not the problem. The problem is he has no idea how to do it.

He's deliberated and kinda sorta almost decided that he wants his coming out to be extravagant, but so far, nothing has come together.

In his first maths class of the year he rips out a page from his book and scrawls along the top in the best italics he can manage: _I'm gay yo_. Then he underlines it. Then he draws a rainbow and then a unicorn on top of the rainbow and then he circles it with hearts. Then he writes _wow how gay_ next to it and folds the sheet into his pocket.

So far? Inconclusive.

* * *

In drama he adds _gay musical_ but doesn't elaborate. Then he adds _dramatic speech_. Then he thinks for a while before adding _leaping out of the closet and screaming "I'm homo"_.

* * *

At break time Kelsey hugs him and sits him down at one of the tables lining the field and proceeds to lecture him about how he really needs to get out more and how little she saw of him over summer. He takes it all good-naturedly, grinning and smiling at her threats (he doesn't know what they mean, specifically, but they sound medieval and bloody).

"Anyway," she starts, slipping a strand of brown hair behind her ear, "there's a new English teacher and I hear he's really hot."

Phil shrugs.

"Not that you'd really care, but y'know, I think you might have some competition from the ladies now. He's stealing your spotlight."

Phil giggles at this; Kels knows for sure that Phil is not the popular guy (that would be Jonas, who Phil has to admit is rather attractive) and swats her away when she coos at his tongue sticking through his teeth.

"I would bang you, Phil, I would." She says, ruffling his hair and laughing again as he pouts and tries to righten it. "You're mega hot, I don't know how people don't just grind against you at bus stops."

Phil blushes. "I'm not hot Kels, stop flirting."

"You know you love it really."

"I do." Phil huffs jokingly, slapping Kels' hand away from his hair, to which she replies "but it's so fluffy!"

Kel's grabs Phil's planner, flipping to the reverse side and checking his timetable. She stares inquisitively at it, frowning when she sees some initials she doesn't recognise.

"DH? That's the new teacher, y'think?" She asks, but Phil doesn't have time to respond as the buzzer rings signalling next lesson. "I'll see you!" She waves, wading into the thick current of year sevens that are all seemingly a foot shorter than her.

* * *

Mr Howell is stood at the door of his English classroom and Phil finds himself blushing madly. In a suit, he looks older and more formal and quite frankly extremely intimidating. He looks exactly what he is: a ten years older, straight divorcee. He smiles at him, greeting him in a stiff but politely familiar tone and then checks his seating plan. He directs Phil next to a boy in the back corner and Phil gulps before sitting down awkwardly.

The kid is new, Phil doesn't recognise the top of his head (his head is rested on the desk and is yet to rise) but doesn't look uncomfortable. In fact, he looks asleep.

Phil clears his throat and the kid sits up quickly, looking around in surprise for a moment then deciding that his surroundings aren't that dangerous. He meets Phil's eyes and grins and Phil's jaw is miraculously still in place. The kid looks like Mr Howell, but younger and hotter and less stern looking and slightly tireder. The corner of Phil's mouth turns up as he returns the smile and he tries to keep his moan internal.

"I'm Dan." The boy says, "sorry that I was kinda asleep, I stayed up till five watching a Muse live stream."

This time Phil can't help it and his mouth pops open. "No way! I was too! They played Agitated, didn't they?"

Dan nods, "yeah, and Dead Star. Was good." Mr Howell claps his hands at the front of the class but Dan ignores him and continues. "Don't talk about Muse too loud, dad hates them and he wouldn't half love to embarrass me on the first day."

Phil looks questioningly at Dan before putting two and two together.

Dan x Dad = Mr Howell.

Ah.

"Mr Howell's your dad?"

"Yeah, moved in with him last week. Him and my mum divorced."

Phil nods and then his face lights up. "Hey, how are you getting home tonight?"

For a second Dan looks confused and almost a little scared but quirks his shoulders in a slight shrug and his smile returns. "I'm walking, dad would gimme a lift but he had to stay for a meeting."

"Well, do y'want to walk with me? I am your neighbour after all."

* * *

"Phil, you know you said you weren't hot? Yeah, well, you lied. My mate Jozie wants to fuck you- I mean date you." Kels pauses and Phil rolls his eyes.

"They all do."

"Yeah, yeah, stop bragging, so can I set you up now or?"

Phil thinks for a second. Come out? Decline her offer and look like a douche? Say yes and protect his sexuality and not break any hearts?

"No." He says a little too firmly and Kels shoots him an incredulous look. Then she points at Jozie and grabs her boobs and whispers "they're bigger than mine though".

_I'm gay_. Phil considers saying; it'd be a hell of a lot easier than trying to excuse the fact that he doesn't really care for boobs. He'd quite like to touch some though, just to see what all the rage is about.

He doesn't, though, or at least he doesn't think he does.

"Of course you are! I knew it! I knew it!" She hugs him and then kisses him plain on the lips and then both cheeks and then his forehead before pulling him into another hug. "Oh my god Phil! I kinda thought maybe but then last year when I asked and you said you kinda wanted to grope Miranda's boobs, so I just thought that you liked the pussy."

She hugs him again whispering something about being "so proud" and then they're interrupted by a certain brunette.

Unbeknown to them, he witnessed the whole encounter and without even deliberating he sits down next to Phil and says without faltering: "I'm gay too."

* * *

"So how did you realise you were gay?" Dan asks on the walk home. They've been walking for around ten minutes in, surprisingly, comfortable silence. Ever since the double come out thing, as Phil calls it, it's been pretty cool. They sat next to each other in geography and talked all lesson, getting to know each other and never ran out of topics.

Phil almost tells him, almost blurts out that his neighbour (Dan's actual real life dad) is kinda hot but catches himself. He could tell him that, be honest, or-

"Matt Bellamy is really hot." Phil chokes out. He's not fully sure where it came from, even if it is true to an extent, but he runs with it. "I was watching this live video and he was doing this thing with his guitar, like grinding into it and I realised that I wanted to be the guitar." He pauses to gauge Dan's reaction.

Dan hums and nods. "Same... Kinda. I just sorta looked at Dom Howard one day and thought 'wow I would' and it went from there, y'know?"

Phil nods, because he does. Especially with Dom. And Dan's dad, but he's not going to let that slip. Not now, not ever. And he means that. _Never_. "Anyway, do you want me to show you round school properly tomorrow?"

Dan nods and that's it, fate sealed, even if he doesn't quite know it yet.

* * *

When Phil collapses into bed that evening with his Mac on his lap, a steaming cup of hot chocolate on his bedside table and a chocolate digestive clutched between his lips he sets to work. His tasks? To find Dan on every social networking site there is and more. He must know more about the hot guy that he's really becoming fond of, even if he's only known him for approximately nine hours.

He finds Dan's Facebook first, easily, all he needs to do is type in Dan Howell and then it's the first result. He grins as he sends the request and grins wider when it is accepted minutes later. His smile increases ten-fold when he looks through Dan's pictures, awkward smile after awkward smile and fluffy hair and brown eyes and-

Crap.

Phil might be developing a bit of a crush. With a sigh he brushes the crumbs off his chest and grabs his mug and takes a sip. The chocolate scolds him mouth and he sets it back down with a grumble, opening Twitter. "It's Dan time." He mumbles, typing Dan Howell in the odd chance that he'll be a large enough account to show up. He doesn't.

It takes him about four minutes of scrolling till he stumbles across an account that is most likely to be Dan's. /danisnotonfire./ Phil reads through the Tweets: _ugh new school today kms_, _dnt wna_, _no but seriously im gonna be in the same lesson as my dad wtf_.

He has to smother his laughter because even if he hasn't known him for long, he knows for sure that this is Dan's Twitter. It's quirky and galaxy inspired and nerdy and completely Dan. Absolutely, completely, extremely Dan. He's got twelve thousand followers (almost as impressive as his fifteen thousand, he thinks with a smug grin) and a load of favourites on each Tweet and he's kinda popular. In fact, he's surprised that Phil hasn't seen his account before because they share quite a lot of mutuals.

There's a link to Dan's Tumblr, so after he's followed Dan and looked though half a year of his media (including a hot selfie or two) he opens the link. His Tumblr theme is shit, but it's kinda cute too and he sighs again, hits follow and then spends around four hours scrolling. it's only when the clock reads 4:24 and his hot chocolate is gone that he closes his laptop and settles down to sleep.

* * *

"This is the smoking line." Phil says and then launches into his explanation of why the teachers had to cordon off the bike sheds because the were too prone to being vandalised and smoked in. Then he leads Dan round the field, points at the table they came out out together at and then sit down.

"That was a brief tour." Dan concludes, raking a hand through his hair and crinkling his nose when he finds the slight crinkle in the fringe that has started to develop.

The day is cold, September fog already closing in on the UK and the cold and damp coming hand in hand behind. In the horizon the sun is rising, first lesson yet to commence and for a moment they stop and stare at the dusky oranges shining through deep mist. The air clouds with their breath and they sit in companionable silence, just watching.

And then Phil sneezes.

Dan laughs at him and Phil joins in even though he's completely winded (it was an almighty sneeze, he's pretty sure if he's have sneezed any harder his brain would have fallen out). The bell goes, they stand and head to lesson, Phil pointing out important classrooms and hallways, then part at the end of the maths corridor, Dan waving and shouting something about meeting at break at the table.

Phil happily agrees and spends the next hour solving equations, but with a happy smile on his face because he has a new friend.

* * *

Kels is already sat at the table when Phil arrives. When he sits down she pulls a flask out of her bag and three cups. "Where's Dan? I brought him a cup too. Want some soup?" Phil laughs at the weirdness but accepts happily and laughs some more at Dan's reaction to his steaming cup of minestrone.

They sit, sipping on their soup and occasionally warning Dan against people who walked past, mainly Jennifer Cook, who walks past three times and makes it obvious that she is checking Dan out. Dan shudders as she pouts at him and flicks a stand of peroxide blond over her shoulder, hoisting her skirt up till it rests just under her boobs.

"Girls are gross." He remarks and Phil laughs and agrees while Kels looks offended, but she knows what they mean.

* * *

By October three things in Dan and Phil's ever improving friendship are certain:

1) Phil definitely has a crush on Dan.

2) Kels ships them.

3) He really needs to find out what cologne Dan wears because it's really nice and he wants it.

There is nothing Phil wants to do than kiss Dan, except Dan himself, and he realises with a startled gasp that he's done it; he's made up his mind.

He smiles then because he knows that he's going to do it and it's all thanks to Dan. In fact, he notices, since Dan's been around he's made snap decisions and hard choices and he's never stalled. He has a lot to thank Dan for, he thinks, because he's fairly certain that Dan's presence is the reason for his decisiveness. He's not sure why, but Dan brings out the best in him.

Scratch that, he knows why but he really doesn't want to admit to the massive crush he has on the guy that is quickly becoming his best friend.

No one can deny how much more popular he is in school, now, though. Whether it is Dan's looks (likely, Phil thinks) or the newfound self-confidence that Dan has introduced into him but he's noticed how more people smile in the corridors at him and how somebody always wants to work with him.

He puts it down to Dan spreading word of how great he is, which Dan hinted at doing when he first got invited to sit at the 'popular table'.

Secretly, he's pretty chuffed that people are starting to notice him and, above everything, like him.

That doesn't go to say that he's left anyone behind.

The table is still his and Kels', and more recently Dan's too, and people seem to get that. It is their table, only three seats branching from the round table, which is oddly convenient for the threesome, and nobody ever tries to interrupt that. Sometimes people stop off to ask about the maths homework that's due next week, or when their coursework is due in, but never stay long. They are generally left to themselves, a different hot liquid provided by Kels each day shared between them and enough laughter to warm a morgue.

They are happy.

Well, almost.

All Phil wants is Dan holding his hand, kissing him, doing other less appropriate things. And he wants to do them in public, well maybe not the last, but he wants to show Dan off.

But there's two problems:

1) Dan is not his.

2) As far as everyone knows, he's as straight as a ruler.

He laughs to himself quietly. _Yeah, a bendy ruler._

* * *

"Phil, will you come to my Halloween party?" Kels asks that evening and without even batting a lash he agrees to go. "Dan's going," she adds, "and most of our year."

That's when the plan starts to formulate in his mind.

Halloween is going to be one hell of a night.

* * *

Mr Howell opens the door for him and invites him into the living room. Dan is slouched into his sofa, chin resting on his breast and a stray lock of brown hair curling over his eye. Phil smiles and sits down next to him, shifting until their thighs and upper arms are touching, Dan's head nearly resting on his shoulder.

Mr Howell sits down in the armchair across the room from them and picks up his laptop, sitting in very much the same position as Dan (like father, like son) and mumbling "cute".

Phil blushes.

They proceed to chat about the Halloween party and possible guests. Kels is more popular than them both and has quite a few older friends and neither are sure of the guest list; Kels likes to be secretive like that. Mr Howell butts in with the occasional "say no to drugs" and whatnot, yet is relatively silent for most of the conversation.

Halloween has fallen on a Friday this year and Dan literally begs Phil to sleepover after the party, which Phil would never say no to anyway.

Mr Howell makes three bowls of pasta a few hours later and they sit at the table, stereo on in the background and discuss which teachers they like and dislike and Mr Howell tells them all the funny anecdotes from the staffroom.

When it's time for Phil to leave and Dan is already heading up to his room to bed, Mr Howell drags him to the side for a "quick word".

"Phil, just wanted to thank you for being Dan's friend. He's not been quite himself recently but you've brought his smile back. Thanks."

Phil blushes all the way to his ears. "You're welcome, Mr Howell." And then Phil opens the front door and waves as he walks down the drive.

That night he clambers into bed happy, cradling his phone where the text from Dan has just come thorugh.

_literally cannot wait till halloween we gotta get matching costumes man like ur the salt to my pepper ly man_

* * *

**eeep hello this is a halloween inspired two/three-shot thingy and is actually about three or four fic ideas mashed into one. i'm hoping to get the next part up soon guys and i really need to get the next chapter of cysio up too but for now i hope this is ok for you guys. as always i don't own dan, phil or muse but all ocs and the plot are mine.**

**ily all thank you goodnight [spoons and kisses u]**


	2. Chapter 2

"What would you do if you were a woman for a day?" Phil asks. It's a completely innocent (okay you got him, slightly innocent question) but Dan's smirk says it all. They're sat at the table despite it nearing the middle of October and temperatures already feeling sub-zero and they should really be inside, but they're not.

"I don't know? Wank until I pass out probably." He replies and Phil sighs.

"Women can't wank. They don't really have the… devices."

Dan pouts. "Shut up."

Phil rolls his eyes. "Well if I was a girl for a day…" He pauses and waits for Dan's signal to continue, which he promptly receives. "I'd touch my boobs because I've always wanted to do that and put makeup on and wear a mini skirt and stockings. Then I'd probably bang a load of people because vaginas seem cool."

"All in one day?" Dan asks and Phil snorts, shrugging. "And stockings? Really? Have I discovered something here? Have you got a kink?" Phil grins and blushes and there's a shy but sharp glint in his eyes and Dan knows for sure that he's just discovered something. Something great.

#

Later that week Dan sleeps at Phil's and they make quick work of a Chinese takeaway and then curl up in thick duvets with _28 Days Later_ turned right down and mugs of hot chocolate cupped in cold fingers. They're _supposed_ to be watching the film, to get into the Halloween spirit, they reason, but they've both been too busy so far trying to stare at each other. Phil's cat, Sady, is curled up on his knee and Dan is making goo eyes at him as he scratches behind her ear.

"What's her name again?" He questions as he leans over and strokes down her back.

Phil grins. "Sady. Short for Saddam Hussein. She's cute."

"He wasn't, though. Didn't you say you got her as a kitten? What the flying fuck possessed you to call a kitten Saddam Hussein?"

Phil frowns as Sady hisses and claws at his hand before stalking off. "That's why." He says bluntly and Dan laughs before they fall back into companionable silence.

Phil's mum brings brownies and then, later, another cup of hot chocolate each. The film ends and for a while they're too lazy to change it over, so they sit face to face, talking softly. It's nice, calm, settled, compared to the whirlwind that is school and exams and college applications. They haven't even mentioned revision even though that was how Phil managed to talk his mum into letting him have a sleepover in the first place. When Phil's mum comes in for a final time that night, or very early morning as it turns out, and tells them that they really ought to sleep and sets the airbed on the floor they curl up together in Phil's single bed. It's a mutual decision, just a quick glance at the inflatable mattress and then a glance at each other and then Phil is in Dan's arms and it's nothing but platonic and cutesy and comfortable.

Except that they both want more.

They lie under two duvets, arms tangled around the other's waist and talk quietly, warm breath mingling in front of their faces. "I was thinking of dying my hair black." Phil says after Dan mentions that his hair is going to be super messy in the morning.

Dan hums for a second before reaching out and taking a strand of Phil's hair in his fingers. "Really? I like it natural."

Phil laughs. "It's kinda ginger, but then there's all these weird streaks. Can't really define it."

"I like that about you. You can't really be defined at all. You're weird and cool and nice all at once and I can't quite find anything about you that I want to change." He whispers. For a second he stares at Phil's eyes, grey molten and swirling and then he places a firm but tender kiss to Phil's surprised lips. Dan tastes like brownies and hot chocolate and there's a thing that Phil can't place, but is so perfectly Dan and his hand traces a searingly hot line down Dan's cheekbone. They don't close their eyes, instead staring into the other's eyes and Phil swears, _he swears_, that he's so close to Dan that he can see the strands of gold in his iris. Dan pulls away. "I just like you, really."

Phil blushes and kisses him again, just to stop the compliments and finds that it's just as sweet as the last. "Stop being so cheesy, it's really gay."

They kiss solidly for half an hour before Phil's eyelids start drooping, and Dan drags him into his chest where Phil rests his head. He can feel Dan's steady breaths and he can hear his heart through the flimsy t-shirt and skin and bone and flesh.

Just as he's falling asleep Dan leans down and into his ear whispers: "you'd look fucking hot with black hair, go for it."

#

Phil wakes to the sound of sobbing.

In moments he is sat up, fussing over Dan but all he succeeds in doing is wake him up. Dan isn't even awake. His head snaps round and then his blue eyes widen with a sort of terror that only a son's would.

"_Mum?_"

She places the tray of breakfast she's carrying on the floor and steps forward, throwing her arms around him. "Phil, deary. I thought there was something going on with you and Dan, and oh look at you, both of you, oh it warms my heart. My boys, oh come here, Dan lad." She says all at once, dragging them into the hug and kissing both of their cheeks, Dan still half asleep. "Oh my little angels, puppy love, my Phil's got a boyfriend and oh thank god it's someone like you Dan."

She is still crying as she excuses herself from the couple, both of them blushing crimson and Phil slightly teary himself. They eat breakfast in almost silence, small giggles exchanged occasionally and then they head downstairs, both still in their pajamas. Dan chuckles at the rockets on Phil's bottoms, set with tiny astronauts and stars and when he looks down at his comic book design he can't help but feel a bit jealous.

Dan tries to ignore the way Phil's dad glares at him when they enter the room, but can't quite escape his piercing glare and when Phil excuses himself to go to the loo, leaving just Dan and Mr Lester in uncomfortable silence in the room, his stomach drops.

"If you hurt my son, I will have to personally hunt you down and hurt you." Mr Lester says in the most threatening tone he can muster and Dan gulps. Then Mr Lester's face brightens almost comically and he laughs. "Oh, son, you should have seen your face. You're a good lad, you know, you're good for my boy, I know it." He says and then stands up, patting Dan on the shoulder and chuckling.

Dan can't bring himself to explain to Phil why he looks so relieved when he comes back from the toilet and he doubts he ever will.

#

The days tick by painfully slowly, Phil thinks, but eventually the 31st of October is upon them. As a couple, he and Dan are no different to what they were as friends apart from the fact that they kiss now. It's refreshing, really, to say the least. Kels has been cool, too. She might have flipped a bit when she first found out, but her two gay friends who were obviously infatuated with each other being together, surprisingly didn't seem like too much of a big deal.

In double English Mr Howell lectures the class on staying safe on Halloween and warns them against alcohol and drugs and underage sex. His eyes never seem far from Dan and Phil can't help but giggle at the way Dan shuffles in his chair when his father announces: "if you are going to a party, do not do anything that you wouldn't do in front of me" while staring his son straight in the eye.

The lesson picks up, however, when they get to write their own horror story and Phil eagerly begins to write his vampire slaying epic. An hour and twenty minutes later and they swap stories, Dan proudly handing him the story of a boy named Phil who gets so scared during an ouija board session that he wets himself.

_0/10 for plot _Phil immediately jots down, frowning as he reads one particularly graphic scene of a bow called Howell teasing him.

"Matt, why does your character go to a butchers to buy steak?"

"Isn't that what they kill vampires with? A steak to the heart?" Phil says, glancing up at Dan with wide, sincere blue eyes and it takes Dan a second to even gather that Phil is being serious.

"_What?_ _No?_ They kill vampires with a wooden stake through the heart, not a hunk of meat." He mimes sharpening wood in his hands, "you know, like sharpened wood?"

"But…" Phil tries to protest, but by now Dan is positively howling with laughter and he can't get a word in edgeways.

He sulks quietly to himself, huffing when Dan lets out an even louder bark of laughter at his mardy expression and goes back to marking Dan's story.

_The butcher menacingly sliced him a steak, seasoning it with garlic and salt till it was perfect for killing vampires. He gave it to Dave, growly voice warning him against placing the steak in the wrong place on the vampire's chest and then Dave left the shop._

_He went straight to the vampire's castle and climbed up the three hundred and forty two stairs so when he reached the top he was out of breath. But just as he was about to go through the old, rickety door a tall, scary vampire jumped out!_

_"Aaargh!" He screamed and tossed the steak at the vampire._

_The steak hit him in the chest and then it howled and fell to the ground and then melted into a gooey red liquid._

_He had done it! He had killed the vampire!_

#

That evening they rush home and then Phil heads to Kels' and Dan stays at home to get ready.

In the end, he's veered away from salt just as Dan has decided pepper is not the look for him but they still have a 'couple costume' as Kels calls it. It's pretty damn impressive as well, if he says so himself.

He gives himself a glance in the mirror and bites his lip.

"Phil, you look as hot as fuck." Kels says, adding a final flick of eyeliner of the corner of her left eye. "Is it too much?" She asks after she looks in the mirror herself.

Phil raises his eyebrows, muttering "hypocrite" and then gives her a good once over. She's wearing a clinging green dress, spider web tights and Doc Martens and _wow_ she looks hot. Her hair is woven into tiny plaits, small snake heads fixed to the bottom and her eyes are smoky and _fuck_ he knew she'd pull of Medusa. "If I weren't gay I would do you so hard." He says and she blushes through the chalk on her cheeks. "When did you get so hot?" He questions, because, indeed the question still stands. He remembers her as the chubby eleven year old, just starting high school with no friends, and then the awkward thirteen year old who was starting to come out of her skin a bit, and then the blushing but popular fifteen year old, and then he gasps as he realises that she's suddenly the beautiful sixteen year old that everyone wants to be with.

He drags her into a tight hug and whispers how proud of her he really is, how happy she is that they've been friends for so long and she returns it with a tear glistening in the corner of her eye.

Later, when the guests are due at her house in mere minutes she produces some startlingly red lipstick and offers it to him. After a moment he accepts and she grins as she hands it to him, heading to the door to open it for the first of numerous times this evening.

Phil stays in her bedroom and stares at himself in the mirror, nerves twisting at his stomach.

#

Dan bursts into the room half an hour later and _fuck_ he's wearing the tights. The tight blue ones that he said he might wear if he had the confidence and he _did_. He fucking did. The material clings to his thighs and crotch deliciously and _god_ he can see everything. He's wearing the white shirt with the blue over the top and the red cape and Phil's mouth is watering and he wants to take him there, right there, rough and hard against the wall but this is Kels' room and he doesn't want to smudge his lipstick.

He settles on staring at Dan's crotch.

And Dan stares at him and he's starting to feel a little self-conscious.

"Wow." Is all Dan says before stepping over to him and dragging him to standing position. "_Wow_."

And Phil has to agree, he does look pretty hot.

He grins down at his blue corset, tight and strained around his petite waist, resting just above his hips, tied tightly with blue ribbon on his back. The skirt is billowing around his thighs, underskirt tickling the smooth skin and the white lace garter sliding down a toned thigh. His feet knock together in golden kitten heels and he pulls up one sheer stocking, to just above his knee, relishing the way Dan's pupils dilate with his every move. He adjusts the red bow in his newly dyed black hair, enjoying Dan's heated stare.

Downstairs the music is being cranked up and Dan grabs Phil, lips slamming together in a violent meeting of tongues and smudged lipstick. And then he pulls away, wiping his lips with the back of his hand and dragging Phil out of the door.

"Classy." Phil mumbles under his breath as they begin the descent down the stairs, accompanied by the ringing of Dan's laugh in his ears.

#

It's funny how much attention you get when you're wearing a mini-skirt, Phil thinks.

The whole room has stopped to stare, looking from Phil to Dan, from skirt and stockings to tights and then to their intertwined fingers.

Kelsey is the first to clap, and then half of the room is breaking out into cheers while the rest of the guests look confused or minorly scarred (for life). In a bout of confidence Phil never knew he had in him, he drags Dan by his hair to his lips, firm kiss planted on unexpected lips and a delighted cheer rings from Kels' lips.

Phil feels light, soaring and he briefly wonders what the fuck Kels slipped into his drink before kicking out one heeled foot and screaming "I'm homo motherfuckers! Sit the fuck down and bow to your queen!"

(He never swears. It's starting to get weird, and with a gulp Dan accepts his fate and follows his boyfriend down into the party.)

#

"Fuck, I love this song."

"You like Katy Perry?" Phil's eyebrows are raised, lips stained red with lipstick and eyes heavily lidded.

"Fuck yes. She's the only girl I would." Phil snorts at Dan's words and leans in to kiss him, missing and planting a sloppy kiss the the corner of Dan's lip.

The music is loud, too loud, reverberating from the speakers to the walls, pounding rhythm in perfect time to the gyrating of Dan's hips against his own, their conversation hardly audible. His breath comes in short gasps through his nose as his lips meet Dan's, the kiss heavy and relentless and it takes ounce of self control to not nut the guy that just gagged and his mates that laughed. Instead, he snaps his hips back with equal force, meeting Dan's with delicious friction.

He shudders a moan.

Phil's shoulder's are grabbed from behind, his whole body lurching backward in a sudden movement that he did not see coming in the slightest. The hands are large and dig into his shoulder blades painfully, rooting him forcefully to the spot. "You're a disgusting fag," is hissed in his ear in a decidedly terrifying tone, words low and rough.

"I know," Phil says with a slightly slurred voice, no stammers, nothing, no indication to the very real fear that he's about to get shanked by some guy that he doesn't even think he knows. "Smoking is a gross habit, I really need to stop doing that."

"Right, listen fairy boy-"

"I'm Snow White, not Tinkerbelle, you fucking idiot. Don't you know your Disney at all?" He interrupts forcefully, winking at Dan. "Next you're gonna say he's Peter Pan."

"Knobhead-"

"No, I'm not a knobhead but I would like a knob in my head, if you know what I mean?" Someone cheers. Someone else laughs. Phil is positively glowing in the centre of the crowd that is forming around him and he shakes the hands off him and turns around. "What do you say then, give me the pleasure?"

Phil knows that the fist is coming. He's been asking for it, almost begging for it from the start and when the knuckles connect with his cheekbone, knees buckling with the force of the impact and a high-pitched giggle, despite everything, managing to formulate in his throat he finds it very difficult to feel any surprise. He _is_ shocked by how much force the punch was thrown with, how much energy and power in the blow. He's also surprised when Dan's arms clutch onto his back as he falls.

There's a collective gasp from the crowd and then the sound of a fist on skin and Phil flinches but the only hands to touch him are Dan's, soft and warm on his back.

He watches as Chris Kendall decks Jonas (so much for him being hot) and then as Kels kicks him between the legs while he's vulnerable on the floor. With the darkest face she can muster (it's fucking terrifying and even Phil has to look away) she hisses "get the fuck out of my house before I kick you so hard you'll be throwing up your own bollocks."

Jonas runs. Or limps.

The crowd cheers.

#

"I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT!"

"Phil, shut up."

"IT FELT SO WRONG, IT FELT SO RIGHT."

"Phil, you missed some of the lyrics. Seriously, shut the fuck up, you're going to wake my dad up."

"I did though! Girls are so icky! She was all 'mmm lemme lick your mouth you're hot I like you I want you why don't you leave Dan and come with me' and I went 'no, no'" he shakes his head aggressively and then staggers over, giggling manically, "'I'm with Dan, but if you want to join in...' We're gonna have a threesome with Ellie, Dan! She said she'd invite Lara, too!" Dan hauls him up by his armpits, throwing an arm around his waist and dragging him down the path toward his house.

Phil's heels are held in his spare hand and he chuckles as he watches the ribbon in Phil's hair slip over his eyes. "Phil, you're drunk."

"Aaaaand?"

"You played spin the bottle with a load of horny teenagers and now you're set on a threesome with one of them."

"Foursome. And she's hot!"

"You don't even fucking like girls! You're impossible."

"I said the same about your dad."

"Shut the fuck up."

#

* * *

Explaination: in the UK, fag also means cigarette, hence why Matt says smoking is gross when he is called one. Mardy means grumpy (think Arctic Monkeys song). Bollocks=testicles. Knobhead=dickhead u feel. sorry if this seemed patronising, I just wanted to make sure everyone understood Brit.

* * *

welcome to the next chapter of rooftops! we've got somewhere now and we're definitely going places. the way phil handled homophobia in this is the way that i will be handling with it the whole way through the story. i think that a lot of the time people are accepting and genuinely nice and the best way to get over bullying is to spin the joke around. homophobia is a serious issue and in no way am i trying to mock it. thanks for reading guys!


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